my main BUB

I realize that anytime there is something in my life that I HAVE to do while there is also something that I WANT to do I will always ignore what I HAVE to be doing.

I simply just don't enjoy it. So I go about my business living and loving in the bubble i have created for myself!

my main BUB( bubble of fun I create):

PERFORMING!!! I AM ON SUCH A HIGH RIGHT NOW!!!

Tonight was the first time I had ever played any of my original music in front of an audience!

So I was really excited about tonight ... whenever there is a show I am doing I sort of forget the rest of the world exists... I create this BUB and it is fantastic... everything about the past three months has been about getting my songs done and rehearsed with a band ...

right .. wow i am so ADD ... I am listening to Liz Callaway sing and it is phenomballs

so I must say that I got some really great positive affirmations that I was on the right path... it felt really good for people that I respect to say such bomb squad things

SIDE STORY**** i must say that i have quite a few friends that i hold close to my heart... they are the most supportive and encouraging human beings... It is a really strange feeling for me to have a friend who support and friendship is conditional! i think i will write about this on my tumblr because i wanted this space to be about my career and such ...

BACK TO STORY****

ok if you have read this far ... i am so sorry i am scatter brain train at the moment.

the whole point of me writing this is to say how much i feel at home on the stage ... in front of people i don't really feel in front of them i feel more with them than anything!

• I love everything about performing
• i love rehearsals ... when i don't have to schedule them
• i love costumes
• i love makeup
• i love mirrors
• i love love love green rooms and the energy that flows from floor to walls to cellings
• i getting nervous
• i love watching other people get nervous
• i love being able to completely plug in and feel like i am not present but completely aware of everything
• i love eating backstage
• i love watching other people come of stage looking like complete defeation
• i love applause
• i love laughter
• i love my band

see this is what i mean... I feel so at home with a mic in my hand, on a stand, in my hair. I just know that I need to do this for the rest of my life. But I will say that there is always this feeling of WTF ... am I allowed to be this ridiculous? Can I really have this much fun right now?

So I hope that I made it to the next round of the competition. I find out tomorrow!

I have got to go to bed ... my mind is going crazy!